#Truth: From Girlboss to Momboss

In early 2017, I was on the #GIRLBOSS panel at an SF Design Center event.  I remember sharing with the audience that I admired  women who combined entrepreneurship with motherhood, that I was expecting a baby of my own soon, and that I was VERY nervous about making that transition.   I now have a happy and healthy one year old girl named Laila, who has brought greater love and joy to my life than I could have imagined.  That said, her arrival certainly turned my life upside down, and the past year has been a whirlwind of intense emotions and SO much learning.

Here are some of my new truths...

Truth #1: Being a mom is Hard Work (yes, those caps are intentional).  Trying to juggle being a mom with being a boss is possibly even harder.  I rarely have a day when I look back and feel like I did a good job balancing the two.

Truth #2: Hiring a caretaker brought up feelings of intense guilt and lots of ideas about what I "should" be able to do.  But as it turns out, letting someone else take care of Laila so that I can focus on my creative work (and a little self care) makes me a better mother. The separation makes me miss the little munchkin and cherish the hours when it's just the two of us.  I also have more energy, resources, and patience when it is time for me to close the studio doors and step back into my mom role.  It's ok to let go.

Truth #3:  At least once a week, I have a day that makes me feel like I've completely failed as a mom.  (Note: I originally wrote this post several months ago...and am happy to report that the frequency has decreased slightly).

Truth #4:  I've realized that it was insane to expect to be a great mother right away.  Think about it...with any new pursuit, we allow ourselves time (months! years!) to learn and develop new skills.   To make it even more challenging, babies/children keep changing, presenting us with new challenges!  I expect I will never feel like I’ve mastered being a mother, and that is totally ok.  Because it is way more important to ENJOY being a mother.

Truth #5:  I fell into the trap of looking at other mombosses on Instagram and comparing myself.  This was truly poisonous.  Don't do it.  Anyone who makes combining motherhood and running a business look effortless (or even worse- glamorous!) on social media probably has a lot of help, or is faking it.  

My transition to #girlboss to #momboss was filled with mistakes and tears...it required a TON of effort and energy.  The one year mark feels like an important milestone for Laila, for my husband and I as parents, and for me as a woman trying to be a mother and creative entrepreneur.    As I celebrate what we've learned and accomplished and look forward to the year ahead, I hope these lessons resonate with other women who are about to make (or in the process of making) the big transition.  <3